slap.myself.upside.down

i can say that, today is one of my so-called "worse days of my life".

today i got back results. english compo was just, omg. couldn't believe i actually did so horribly. i mean, that is the lowest marks i've ever gotten. i just felt so deflated after that. its like the only subject that i had confidence in, has turned out a nightmare.

it feels like i've lost some battle. no longer have the will to carry on fighting.

right after that it was amath. as if i wasn't already demoralised from english. i had to fail my amath. if i didnt study for it, i would be, big deal.
but i did study!! in fact, i think i studied the hardest for my amath! i did tys, assesment books, text books, test papers, worksheets. and i still failed. WHY?!!

my classmate said i had to work hard, hardwork ... etc. but you know what, i did work hard!

at least history was good. 37/50

had chemistry later. failed again.
ughhhhhdadsadsfsdfdsfvdvdfsfsfccszzx

my friends will comfort me if i complain to them, but although i'm thankful for their advice, they dont understand how i feel.

i've decided. i will sit for all the re assesments next year in january. and from there i will decide whether or not i drop to comb science.

but one thing stays, from now on, no more relationships. not until after my o levels.

-- i'm sorry, really. will you wait ?